Traveling alone in India. I didn’t think I would ever be able to muster up the courage for it. I can’t say I’m feeling completely comfortable with everything just yet, but I think I’m learning the ropes. Kerala, probably the most peaceful and respectable of states, is a good way to ease myself into the solo-India travel mode.
So Rahul and I arrived in Polachi yesterday along with the whole Param-SMILE team. Yesterday was the SMILE Pollachi chapter’s inauguration, followed by a speech by Param at a local university. It was complete family-immersion time, because all the uncles and auntys were having fun there way: singing film/religious songs, endless cups of coffee, days centered around food, drink and temples. Today, while I thought we were going sightseeing to Palani, we ‘happened’ to stop at 2 people’s homes, and 2 different temples within the space of an hour. It was actually pretty funny. After the last temple, I bid farewell to Rahul, sorry to have to leave him to his temple-doom ("why do old people in India like going to temples so much?" he pondered) , I set off.
From Pollachi, I hopped on a bus to Thrissur. It was a beautiful bus journey : endless coconut and balm groves, lush green paddy fields, picturesque thatch homes and tall palm trees juxtaposing a clear blue sky. About an hour till Thrissur, an interesting flyer that a man was reading caught my eye. The ad was to encourage people to take eco-friendly tours while in Kerala. I asked if he could borrow it, and he gave it to me along with a host of other social-change books he had on him. I couldn’t believe my eyes; here was exactly what I was searching for, without even having to make the effort of looking! We got into a conversation, he sat down next to me and started telling me about the handicrafts institute that he runs, along with his position as a Wildlife Park Crime Inspector. I was in awe of how amazing this guy seemed to be. He even had a book full of interesting eco-friendly people contacts, which seemed to prove that he was legit. But then the conversation started taking an uncomfortable turn. He asked me “who else was in my house”. Then, when I started interspersing ‘meetings with friends in Kerala’ to make it seem as though I wasn’t actually traveling alone, he asked if the friend was a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then I told him I was married, and had one child. My replies kept getting curt by the moment, and fewer and farther in between. After saying that he would provide me with a comprehensive list of Kerala tourism info, he looked at me and said, “I will give you so much, what will you give me?” That’s when the red-technicolor light started beeping wildly in my head. I realized that I really had been too friendly to him, I had forgotten that Indian guys aren’t used to unreserved girls at all, so I realized I have to start being as cautious as possible with people, no matter who they are. (The receptionist actually asked me -- and this would happen over and over during my trip -- “why are you traveling alone?” I was tempted to answer rheotorically by saying “aren’t we all?” or, more thoureau-like "do we ask the bumblebee if it is lonely?" but thought better of it ;))
So Rahul and I arrived in Polachi yesterday along with the whole Param-SMILE team. Yesterday was the SMILE Pollachi chapter’s inauguration, followed by a speech by Param at a local university. It was complete family-immersion time, because all the uncles and auntys were having fun there way: singing film/religious songs, endless cups of coffee, days centered around food, drink and temples. Today, while I thought we were going sightseeing to Palani, we ‘happened’ to stop at 2 people’s homes, and 2 different temples within the space of an hour. It was actually pretty funny. After the last temple, I bid farewell to Rahul, sorry to have to leave him to his temple-doom ("why do old people in India like going to temples so much?" he pondered) , I set off.
From Pollachi, I hopped on a bus to Thrissur. It was a beautiful bus journey : endless coconut and balm groves, lush green paddy fields, picturesque thatch homes and tall palm trees juxtaposing a clear blue sky. About an hour till Thrissur, an interesting flyer that a man was reading caught my eye. The ad was to encourage people to take eco-friendly tours while in Kerala. I asked if he could borrow it, and he gave it to me along with a host of other social-change books he had on him. I couldn’t believe my eyes; here was exactly what I was searching for, without even having to make the effort of looking! We got into a conversation, he sat down next to me and started telling me about the handicrafts institute that he runs, along with his position as a Wildlife Park Crime Inspector. I was in awe of how amazing this guy seemed to be. He even had a book full of interesting eco-friendly people contacts, which seemed to prove that he was legit. But then the conversation started taking an uncomfortable turn. He asked me “who else was in my house”. Then, when I started interspersing ‘meetings with friends in Kerala’ to make it seem as though I wasn’t actually traveling alone, he asked if the friend was a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then I told him I was married, and had one child. My replies kept getting curt by the moment, and fewer and farther in between. After saying that he would provide me with a comprehensive list of Kerala tourism info, he looked at me and said, “I will give you so much, what will you give me?” That’s when the red-technicolor light started beeping wildly in my head. I realized that I really had been too friendly to him, I had forgotten that Indian guys aren’t used to unreserved girls at all, so I realized I have to start being as cautious as possible with people, no matter who they are. (The receptionist actually asked me -- and this would happen over and over during my trip -- “why are you traveling alone?” I was tempted to answer rheotorically by saying “aren’t we all?” or, more thoureau-like "do we ask the bumblebee if it is lonely?" but thought better of it ;))
4 comments:
Indian guys aren’t used to unreserved girls at all, That's sooo not true!!!! the least you could've done to temper this insular assertion was to have said "a lot of Indian guys or many Indian guys"...
so I realized I have to start being as cautious as possible with people,Aahh!!! there you go... proof that a biased generalization leads to a prejudice for life....
Of couse that comment had to be from my Most Favorite Reader, Maharajan!
My friend & neighbor in Cambridge, MA took a year off to travel in Aus, NZ & South East ASia. She wanted to go to India and Pakistan too but I was sceptical.
I said if she must go to India on her own maybe she should stay in the south and maybe more specifically in Kerala since its is a literate, lawful state( as opposed to Bihar the lawless). It got me thinking to would I travel alone in India.well sadly, the answer would be no! And your experience just proves that right........
sorry MFR..........
aaaahh!! I had to hunt this comment down... when I saw Tilo's email about "Smita's too smart to argue with you", I couldnt remember any controversial comment I might have posted here...
but I suppose this is it ...
While I can't speak for the general state of the law (or the lack of it) in India... I guess I was just being defensive of all Indian men... just the apparent generalization...
... however, that being said, reading Tilo's comments, I would be lying if I said I would disagree with that...
Sad, but true...
hahah..you guys are funny :)
I do agree with you Maha, I did make some broad, unwarranted generalizations there. I think the reason that it happened was that I had actually written this up right after the incident, and I was still a bit shaken up by it all. (and throughout the trip, I did have to tell quite a few people about my "husband and children". aargh!)i've traveled alone in other countries, but india was a different ballgame. it was a great time, but i do think that more caution is something that stood me in good stead later on..
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